Exhausted

I am feeling so tired tonight. The kids are in bed now and Shawn is out picking up some milk for breakfast. As I sit here in a quiet house, I just simply BREATHE…taking in the calm. I am reminded of something Cody said to me several months ago when Anna was terribly sick with the flu. Earlier in the day, she had thrown up A LOT all over the hardwood floors. It covered a large majority of the room. She threw up again later. As we sat and talked at dinner that night, and Cody and Anna laughed over how much one little girl can throw up, Cody (who has a weak stomach for all things disgusting as vomit) suddenly got a serious look on his face. It was as if a thought just hit him for the first time…And he says to me, “Mom, do you ever not like cleaning up all that throw up?” Wow! That hit me like a ton of bricks right then! He just questioned something I had never even considered as a child…how does this make Mom feel. Inside I felt shocked to hear that question. If only he knew how many tears get shed in private as a parent. I felt speechless and thought of my own mom who held my hair back when I got sick, did laundry late at night, brought me coloring books on a tv tray while I rested and watched cartoons, brought wet washcloths to the doctor when I got shots to soothe the hurts, and always made me feel like I was high priority right then. I wonder what she must have really been feeling. How tired she really must have felt, the feeling of being “stuck in doors, ” and drained over the responsibilities of that day. So I looked at Cody and said, “No, I don’t mind cleaning it. I just don’t like for you guys to feel sick.” Cody thought it over,”mmm,” and he looked pleased.